King of Trios

As this is clearly a far reaching blog with an international audience, we have a submission from the glorious shores of The Emerald Isle. And not just any submission, it's a three in one. Take it away, "Queen of the Harpies".

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"Hello, I would like tickets to *excessively sold out show*."
"Unfortunately the entirety of *excessively sold out show* is sold out for its run."

"*chuckle* I don't think you understand....see I'm the director of *some small time out of city theatre*."
"....yeah, it's still sold out."

"*annoyed noise, hangs up phone*"

Sorry pal, not even Holy Mary herself could get into this show.

"Hello, I'd like to go to Susan's show."

"....I'm sorry...who's Susan?"
"Susan Generic Name, Two tickets to her show please."
"I'm sorry, I don't know who this person is. Do you know the name of the show she's in?"

"No."

"Do you know the name of the company?"

"No."

"...do you know what day the show is on?"

"No."

".................do you know what time the show is on?"
"No."

"Do you know anything about this show?"

"...AH....NO!...I think its on at 7:15pm????"
"There are no shows on at that time."

"Come on, it's comedy or something."
"I'm sorry I can't help you until you know the basic information about the show you want me to book you"

"*angry annoyed noises"
"Ok bye now"

Seriously?

"Hey, I'm an idiot, I accidentally booked tickets to the event being done by *some group* in Dublin, when I meant to book for Detroit. Can you swap them?"

"Sorry, we are in no way affiliated with *some group's website*. As you have booked them through our festival website. I cannot swap these tickets for you. We also have a no refunds or exchanges policy...."

"I'm simply asking for a swap. How can you not swap them?"

"You have booked with *festival some group is a part of* not with *some group's website*. We have absolutely no contact with this site or overall company..or branch of *some group*."

"Oh come on, your website (actually *some group's website*) is EXTREMELY misleading and confusing. Not at ONE stage did it say Dublin."

"I just checked their site, and if you click on the link for Dublin, as you have done, it redirects you to our site where it says *festival name* in bright colours. It says Dublin the entire way through the order. The name of the event even includes the word Dublin at the top. You also paid in Euros and not dollars at the end of your transaction."

"Can I at least have a refund?"

"I'm afraid we have a no refunds or exchanges policy*."

*especially if you're a complete and utter eejit.
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I think I need to lie down after all this.