Lightning Round

Courtesy of the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/stillsoldout/), here are a selection of various people's brief experiences in various customer service positions.

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• When working in a clothes shop (elderly) ladies used to lift up their jumpers to show me their bra & ask if we stocked the same one.

• "What does 'restricted leg room' mean?"

         "...it means the leg room is restricted"

• When informing a rotten customer about how consumer laws have changed, she replied "They don't change laws".

• "When it says 'restricted view', does this just mean we are restricted to our seats for the entire performance?"

• When telling a person that receiving credit card information by email is high risk, I was told I'm an idiot in several different words and that no one can possibly access the emails because only this person has the password. 

• When i was working in retail, during xmas, I was asked "would you wear this jacket outdoors?". To which i replied "would you wear it indoors?". Not happy with my answer they proceeded to tell me how cheeky I was and said they weren't going to buy the outdoor jacket. At this stage I couldn't care less and finished it with "if you take it or not, I still get paid" and i just walked away. They still bought it.

• "Have you got a lift?"

         "No, I'm afraid not.''
         "Not even for my mum?''
         "You should have said! This way to the secret mum's lift."

• A customer had a stroke outside the fitting rooms, which we then closed off for her family and so the paramedics could help save her. And then a customer complained to me that our fitting rooms were closed

• And then, this other time, a customer shit in the fitting rooms

• "You can't try on underwear"

         "Why?!"

• "We can't accept returns or exchanges on any underwear"

         "Why?!"

• Customer: Do you have Chinatown?

         Me: Yep, here it is.
         Customer: And is that about China?
         Me: No, it's ChinaTOWN, in Los Angeles. It's a film noir about corruption                and water disputes and land ownership.
         Customer: And do you have any films about China?
         Me: I don't know. We can't check by location.
         Customer: And how much would a film about China cost?

• *customer points at child* 

         "What size would my child be?"

•  "I love your cinema so much, I want to DIE in screen 1, and let you guys find me. Wouldn't that be niiiice?"

         "Erm, maybe not for the the staff who found you...."
         "WHY NOT?"

• "Are you sure you don't have any seats, you know, tucked away for famous people?"

         "Why would you get one of them?"

• "Are you entitled to any discounts, sir?"

         "Does being handsome count?"

• A customer came up in Edinburgh home of thousands of shows and said he would like a ticket to the show that had blue in the poster.

• Me: So that's two tickets for The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.

        Customer: But I want the matinee!

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